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my aunt karen asked “What is the hardest thing about being away from home, or is it hard at all?”

i am going to be completely honest here.

like i mentioned a few days ago, i moved away when i was about 20. at the time, i thought i’d return to ontario, but i never did. ultimately, i know i made the right decision, because my whole life, i wanted to live in vancouver. and before i lived here, i moved and travelled around, and i’m grateful for the things i experienced as a result. and although i don’t often get homesick, i do have regrets. when i was a kid, i just wanted to be different, i wanted to be better. and although this might sound positive, it affected me in a negative way, to the point where i sort of alienated myself. because i didn’t actually *feel* better than others… in fact, i felt worse. i never trusted anyone with this information, so i distanced myself from others. i was very insecure and always felt like the black sheep of the family, and although all i wanted was to be a part of it, i pushed them away, and acted like i didn’t care. and now, here i am, 26 years old, and i miss and long for something i chose to never experience.

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:: if you have a question, please comment or email me, and i’ll add yours to the queue!! thanks so much for your help with winter blogging! :o)

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